It takes diligence to train our children ‘in’ and ‘of’ the gospel and in good character each day. However, this is your ministry as a parent: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it”. And by God’s Grace your child will have true “repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.”

This letter has tips to help you at home as you reinforce the biblical character training that your child is learning in our karate classes.

1. If you invest a few minutes a day and implement some of the ideas in this monthly letter at home you will help your child get SO MUCH MORE out of the time you spend at our school as well as establish patterns for successful behavior as adults.

2. If you do not have interest or time to read this entire newsletter. We encourage you to take a few seconds and just scan through the different topics.

3. Try it for a month! Print out this newsletter, and then each day pick something to discuss and practice with your children. We do it over dinner.

Here is an idea: We have five ‘I wills’, one scripture, and one definition. That is seven things total. What I try to do is take one of those seven things and discuss it, explain it, and catch my child doing it and applying it that day. Or, if they missed an opportunity to apply it I try to show them how they could have used it. So after one week, I will have reviewed all seven and I repeat it each week of the month.

I take very seriously the opportunity you give me by allowing me to partner with you to teach your child the things of God.

So, I appeal you by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the spirit to strive together with me in your prayers to God on behalf of all the children that they would bear fruit in their lives. Pray before and during every class your child attends for God to open his or her eyes, ears, and heart to understand and apply His truth that we will be sharing that day.

Also, please pray for us that we would be good stewards of the time you have given us with your child and we would be faithful witnesses of our Lord and His word. Every class, every time, please join with us in prayer.

The Power of a Partnership and Consistency

I hope for the chance to expose your child to sound Biblical Character Training over a long period of time. And Lord willing, the longer the term of exposure to this curriculum the BIGGER the impact will be on your child and his or her growing in Christ-likeness and being a means by which God displays His Glory.

And your child will be exposed to this character building curriculum everyday you visit our school!

Enjoy the Parent preview below: 

 DEFERENCE vs. RUDENESS Parent Preview

Definition:
- DEFERENCE is limiting my freedom so I do not offend the tastes of those around me.

Definition we will use in tiny tigers class:

- DEFERENCE is not upsetting others.

Other definitions:

- DEFERENCE is putting the welfare of others ahead of our own pleasures.
- Indulging in a pleasure may bring a moment of pleasure but a lifetime of damage.
- All DEFERENCE should be based on the incredible sacrafice that Jesus made in order to bring people to salvation. ( See Romans 14:15-21)
- DEFERENCE is protecting others from situations that would weaken or offend them. Paul chose not to eat meat that was offered to idols, because to do so would offend other believers. (Romans 14:16)
- DEFERENCE is exchanging my rights for the joy of encouraging anothers spiritual growth.
- Refusing to show DEFERENCE is saying, “My momentary interests are more important than your eternal welfare.”
- DEFERENCE is respectful yielding to another.

Application for Home and Life Skills Development:

WHY TEACH DEFERENCE? Some children choose to be rude while others are rude without even realizing it. Either way, DEFERENCE overcomes rudeness by noticing what offends other people and by choosing to avoid the offense.

1. I will notice those around me.
2. I will respect the feelings of others.
3. I will not use offensive language.
4. I will not play loud music in public.
5. I will be careful how I dress.

Scripture Memory for class:

“So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” Romans 14:19 (English Standard Version)

• Biblical Commentaries on DEFERENCE at bottom of this letter

DEFERENCE NOT COMPROMISE

DEFERENCE is not compromise. When someone suggests an activity that would be illegal or immoral, deference holds to standards of right and wrong. The tastes of the majority do not make a wrong right. Deference respects tastes but refuses to compromise character even if it means going “against the flow.”

The Concept of DEFERENCE

The heart of deference is not offending the tastes of others. Everyone has his or her own tastes, often based on personality, culture, or family background. Deference recognizes these tastes and then respects them.

Recognizing tastes begins with an awareness of one’s surroundings. Are others around? What would their preferences be?

Respecting tastes means avoiding activities that would offend others. Some offenses are obvious, such as shouting in a library or running through a store. Other conflicts center around “minor” issues, such as what to eat, what to wear, or who sits in the front seat. Deference accepts these individual preferences and yields to them.

GETTING THE LAST WORD

Some people feel they always have to have the “last word.” They find it extremely difficult to stop an argument without winning their point. Deference recognizes that not every topic is worth arguing about, especially those involving opinions. When conversation turns to insignificant matters of taste or preference, deference keeps the peace by saying less and listening more.

TABLE MANNERS

While people may differ slightly in their views of table etiquette, you can at least identify commonly accepted table manners to avoid offending others:

- Wait for everyone to be seated before eating
- Place napkin in lap
- Chew with mouth closed
- Swallow food before speaking
- Keep elbows off table
- Pass dishes instead of reaching across table
- Offer food to others before asking for more, especially with the last serving
- Place silverware across the top of plate when finished
- Place folded napkin to the side of plate when finished
- Ask to be excused from the table

More important than table etiquette is the principle behind one’s table manners: not offending others.

PRAISE CHILDREN FOR THE FOLLOWING:

• Speaking in soft voices
• Eating with proper table manners
• Walking and not running in stores
• Avoiding rude jokes or bad humor
• Complying with dress codes

Two sides of DEFERENCE:

While praising your children for showing deference to others, don’t miss opportunities to point out deference to those who receive it. For example, when you notice one child avoiding conflict by deferring to another, point out to the second child the character of the first. Here are some examples:

• “Did you see how John let you play the game you wanted to play? That was pretty nice of him to show deference, wasn’t it?”
• “I watched you and Ann have a disagreement a few minutes ago. I appreciate the way you both controlled yourselves and resolved your differences peacefully.”
• “Do you remember when we were at the playground and Bill let you go first down the slide? That was very polite of him, don’t you think?”

Illustrations Used in KK4C Class

Along with teaching and expanding on the above definition, the ‘I Wills’, and scripture, DEFERENCE will be illustrated using:

• The Character Card of the Month – DEFERENCE in nature with the TIMBER WOLF. The timber wolf is a recognized symbol of freedom and independence. However, the strength of a wolf pack lies not in a single individual, nut in the cohesiveness of the whole pack.

• Hero’s of Character with CHARLES YOUNG – From the time that he was a little boy, Charles Young was trained to be a true gentleman. He developed good manners, a gracious personality, and most of all, a respect for the preferences of others.

Character Card Tips

Character is useless unless it is a part of everyday life. Biblical character training is only a short term band-aid with no long lasting effects and so powerless and ‘NOT BIBLICAL’ without God’s enabling by His Holy Spirit. Ask God every day to enable you by His Spirit that he would give you the grace to teach and to speak truth into your child’s life in an appropriate way and time.

Use the character cards and join with us in teaching your child the ‘I wills” by saying, “Here are ways you can practice DEFERENCE.” Then read the “I wills” on the back of the card.
Then elaborate on each one from your own life sharing personal illustrations of when you did what was right or did something that was wrong. Be sure to emphasize that there were benefits to right choices and consequences to wrong choices and that if not by God’s grace you would only make wrong choices.

Personal Evaluation – How much DEFERENCE do you show others?

1. Do you place stumbling blocks in the way of others by the things that you say, do or wear?
2. Do you protect your children from evil?
3. Do you keep your home free from things that offend your children or cause them to struggle?
4. Do you offend people of other cultures, races, or ethnic groups by the words you use to describe them?
5. Do you make allowances as much as you can to accommodate those from other backgrounds and philosophies?
6. Do you understand and follow protocol when visiting another country?

DEFERENCE in the Home Includes:

Biblical Commentaries on DEFERENCE

“So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” 20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble.3 Romans 14:19-21 (English Standard Version)

Basic Commentary:

Deference—respectful yielding to another
To a woman’s entreaty Ruth 1:15–18
To an old man’s wish 2 Sam. 19:31–40
Results in exaltation Matt. 23:12
Commanded Heb. 13:17

Deeper Commentary:

14:19-21. Continuing his emphasis on not hindering another Christian’s spiritual life, Paul urged his readers, Let us therefore make every effort (lit., “Let us keep on pursuing”) to do what leads to peace (lit., “the things of peace”; cf. v. 17) and to mutual edification (lit., “and the things of building up one another”; cf. 15:2; 1 Thes. 5:11). To Paul food and one’s personal convictions about it were not so important as the spiritual health of a fellow Christian and the work of God. Therefore it is wrong to insist on one’s personal freedom in Christ concerning food (all food is clean; cf. Rom. 14:14, “no food is unclean”) and drink if it causes someone else to stumble (proskommatos, “a stumbling block”; cf. vv. 13, 21). Meat or drink or anything else should be put aside if it causes a brother to fall (proskoptei, “stumble”; cf. proskomma, in vv. 13, 20). At times one’s Christian liberty must be relinquished for the sake of others. As Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “Everything is permissible—but not everything is constructive” (1 Cor. 10:23). And “be careful . . . that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak” (1 Cor. 8:9).

IV. Am I Causing Others to Stumble? (14:13–21)
There is one thing we should judge: we should judge ourselves to see whether we are abusing our Christian liberty and making others stumble. Certainly nothing is unclean of itself, but some practices and habits are considered unclean by others. Therefore, if we deliberately do something that makes our brothers stumble, we’re not living according to the rule of love.
It is a serious thing to cause another person to stumble and fall into sin. Note Christ’s words in Mark 9:33–50, where “offend” means “cause to stumble.” The believer who holds on to his questionable practice and causes another Christian to fall in his walk with God is blind to the price Jesus paid on the cross. Our good should not cause evil talk. After all, the Christian life is not a matter of eating or drinking (or any other practice), but one of righteousness and peace and joy, all of which come from the Spirit. Our aim should be not to please ourselves, but to build up (edify) other Christians in love. 1 Corinthians 10:23 states that all things are lawful for the believer (for we do not live under law), but not everything builds us up or helps to build up others. See also 1 Cor. 8. “Destroy” in Rom. 14:15 and 20 means “tear down.” How selfish for a Christian to tear down another believer’s spiritual life because of his own selfish living. His practices may be lawful, but they do not come under the law of love.

Character First! Education Series 4, Booklet 6, Oak Brook, IL;
International Association of Character Cities. (2000). Achieving True Success.
Institute of Basic Life Principles. (2001). The Power of True Success

Adam Schainblatt’s Karate Kids For Christ - 10940 Raven Ridge Rd., Ste 118; Raleigh, NC 27614
(919) 870-0525 www.Karate-Kids.org
• Speaking with clean language to other members of the family
• Dressing modestly so as not to offend.
• Refraining from certain activities in order to be role models for younger family members
• Showing respect to parents by not talking back or using ugly words